My Kirkton Park Saga

To say I am disappointed is an understatement, no I am devastated and I doubt that friends realise the affect it is having on me.

What am I blabbering on about? good question my fine reader and one I will now gladly answer.

I have always been proud of the fact, that I did my best to always be helpful to my fellow man. Be it a close friend or the man or woman selling the homeless newspaper. A little bit of kindness goes a long way to making the world in which you live a pleasant place to be.
I have always supported the Arts if someone's band was playing or needed support, I helped....if someone was an artist I supported them or an actor, I would go to see their show. It all sounds like I am trying to portray myself as the good guy, no that is not what I mean. I genuinely support people following their dreams, I am disappointed others don't think the same way.

I have never had much cash, not my hobby to save, especially if I had some money and I even got a sniff of a store selling musical instruments, I was lost to the savings cause. Ask the Rebel Jesus, we went to guitar fair once, where a store was having a closing down sale. Bas said he wanted to have a look and see if he could get a guitar. I reluctantly agreed, I knew the outcome.
Unfortunately, he didn't find anything he liked....I came home with 3 guitars. See what I mean?

Well, when I was living in Alkmaar, I helped friends and family financially from some savings I had, it wasn't a lot what I had, but I gave what I could. My mother always said you can't take it with you. She was a wise woman, also a witch who could see dead people, but that's another story.
I also gave friends some furniture and other items from my house, as I was moving to France and Mrs. Freak had everything, it was not a problem and I was honestly happy I could help someone.
Mrs. Freak also spent quite a bit buying items for friends who saved things, but what the fuck, she has a good job, she can afford it.....my dear reader, you would be surprised how many people genuinely think this but I do not want to drag Mrs. Freak in this, this is my problem, not hers.

I have been living in France now for over a year and I have at that time had NO income, be it from unemployment or playing shows. All I have is from the sales of my music. It is not a lot to write home about and I know I could never survive on it. I am truly lucky that Mrs. Freak wants to and can support and finance and feed me.

Now comes the clue to this story and beef I have with so-called friends.
I asked people, very close to me, to help out by buying the songs and even helping me by promoting my stuff, you never know, I might get me a few sales from it. Every little bit helps.
But every single one of the persons, whom I have helped in the past and they call themselves true friends, turned their backs on me and totally ignored my asking of them, even when they knew I was totally broke and had not much chance of getting a good income. Their egos and selfishness were too big to even help a friend.
I know, before people start, I have a massive ego, but never ever would I turn my back on a friend in need, I would give them the shirt off my back as we stood in the snow, if I had to.
If I post a cute photo on my personal Facebook page, it is met with many many likes, but the second I mention the sale of a song or ads for my music...whooosh!!!!...they disappear and totally ignore the post, instead of helping out and re-posting it.
I realise now that no-one cares about how me and the misses are getting on, but that is NOT what this blog is about.

I should stay calm and not think anything of it, Mrs. Freak says: you stand above them, don't let them bring you down....another wise woman, like from my mother, only this one is NOT a witch...lol
But, this fake friendship...the "It doesn't benefit me, so why should I help" attitude pisses me right off and my only wish was I knew then what I know now.
The moral of the story is my friends, it is not about the money, like I said, I doubt I will be rich from my CD sales, it is the fact and the principles you can ignore someone who asked, nearly begged (Mrs. Freak thankfully stopped me) for help and you just carry on as if you don't see or hear it.

My brother told me a story of how my father had promised to watch him play football at Kirkton Park. He played the game and no sign of my father and when he asked my Dad why he didn't watch his game. My father said I did watch you, from the bedroom window.
Well, my friends, this is my Kirkton Park and it really sucks and it makes me angry. Not at them because they won't help, but at myself for believing they were true friends and would help

I was never a one for sending Christmas cards, but I tell you if I did, there would be a hell of a lot of names scratched off that list.

What will people make of this blog.....probably the same as the Facebook page, stick their heads in the sand and pretend they hear nothing until it goes away. That's okay, I have said my piece and for me, it is finished.
Alkmaar will always be special to me, but every day my connection with the city is growing less and the friends are more distant from me because now I see a lot of people in their true light and not behind their masks.

My beautiful friends, who have helped me, my band who always support me, I salute you and thank you from the bottom of my heart, but now I am done, I do not want to waste any more energy or time on those negative selfish people....let's have a party

ZEEKtheFREAK  Cabannes 25/08/2016